What is With You People?
by Blackcat88
Summary: The Pokemon cast members are mad as hell, and they're not going to take it anymore! See them try to find a solution to their hate mail problem.
1. 1

**I'm going to be perfectly frank right now; this story was inspired by the various "I hate this character/I'm going to kill them off" stories that I see here. Themajority of them (in the Pokemon category) are, much to my dismay, the "Tracey dies" kind of story (yes, I like him. Deal with it). I figured it would be fun to let the Pokemon cast deal with this sort of animosity (via hate mail sent to them). So I present this lovely little gem, for you to read, review, and enjoy. All flames will be read once and pretty much ignored from there on in. **

"HOLY HELL!"

Ah, the sweet sound of someone who's at the end of their rope. One too many hate mails, just filling up your mailbox; especially the uncreative and grammatically challenged kind of hate mail. Unfortunately, this is not only a reality for our young friends, but a daily, never going to give up even after you're dead reality.

Welcome to the apartment of whom else but our beloved Pokemon cast. Wait a minute, you ask; they ALL live in the same apartment? That doesn't make sense! Oh it makes perfect sense. This apartment is in New York. Have you seen what the landlords demand for rent?

No wonder people get married for convenience. They need their spouse's half of the rent.

Anyway back to our friends. It's just another day for them. Opening up hate mail of the written and electronic kind has become a most despised ritual. Let's check up on them.

Oh look! There's Ash with Pikachu, staring at his computer screen. What does it say this time?

"YOU SUCK! YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

And over there in the corner is Misty. What's she reading this time?

"YOU SUCK! YOU'RE A BITCH!"

Uh……….What about Brock?

"YOU SUCK! HOW COME YOUR EYES NEVER OPEN?"

May?

"YOU SUCK! YOU'RE A NASTY SLUT!"

Max?

"YOU SUCK! I HATE NERDS!"

…………………Dare I ask? Tracey?

"YOU SUCK! YOU REPLACED BROCK!"

Do I even want to ask about what poor Team Rocket is reading at the moment?

"YOU SUCK! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH"

…………….Curses and bad phrases start to look all the same after a while. The poor guys don't even see the words anymore; they sort of zone out after the first 50 letters, as evident by their glazed eyes and drool slowly dripping from their mouths.

Clunk!

Oh boy. In his stupor, Pikachu has fallen off of Ash's shoulder. Again. He's used to that too.

"DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE JOBS OR SOMETHING? LEAVE ME ALONE!"

That was Tracey's utterance this time. He sits slumped in his chair, trying to understand the people who send him all this stuff. He is right about one thing; most of the people sending him stuff don't have jobs. That's because a majority of them are minors and the U.S. has those pesky laws that state you have to be a certain age and have papers to have a job.

It is understandable why he is frustrated. He is perhaps the most lampooned of all the Pokemon cast. Something about being overweight (supposedly as "fans" have stated) and replacing Brock on the show and a whole bunch of otherwise asinine, over analytical comments and blah blah blah blah.

Oops. The hate is starting to look all the same again.

What's this? It looks like Jessie is unplugging her computer. And dragging it to the window. And………………throwing it out the window. Uh……….I'm sure no one is passing by.

CRUNCH! SPLATTER! GORE!

Oops. I was wrong.

"Guys, we have to end this. I can't take it anymore! These people seem to have nothing else better to do" cries May, as she sits frustrated at her computer.

"Why do they hate me so?" whimpers her little brother.

"Why do they ask such stupid questions?" asks Brock.

"Why is it that every fan fiction ends with 'Tracey dies' and it's always some horrible, bloody death?" asks Tracey.

"We're cartoon characters for god's sake; they act like our every action is going to affect the world!" screams James.

Uh oh. It looks like another vein is going to pop in Jessie's head. Meowth notices this.

"I'll go get the Neosporin" he says and walks off to the bathroom.

So they sit there and think. What to do? Besides commit mass murder, I mean. That would impede on their careers. Or maybe it wouldn't; sometimes you get lucky.

"How much do you think it would cost to get me out of jail for killing a few loyal "fans" Cassidy?" asks Butch.

"Too much" she replies.

"Damn."

"That's it! We do not have to tolerate this endless crap! And I know exactly how to stop it!" shouts Ash, rising from his chair.

"We don't to have to take it?" asks May.

"You know how to stop it?" Misty dryly says.

"Yes. I know exactly what to do" he replies, grinning evilly.

"That's great. Will it actually work?" queries Brock.

"Let's just say it won't be a permanent solution………but it will make us feel better" says Ash.

"Is this impending doom that I feel right now?" asks Tracey.

"You're feeling it too?" says Cassidy.

CRASH! A rock has been thrown thru their window. James goes over to read the paper attached. What does the note say this time?

"**Michael Jackson is not guilty!"**

Another rock soon follows, smacking poor James in the head.

"**Sorry, wrong window!"**

"I'll go get the broom" says Max.

"Well………at least that one wasn't meant for us" comments Jessie.

Ash rushes up to the window, obviously fuming.

"Hey! Next time make sure you got the right window, you moron!" he screams.

"Hey, you're that Ash kid! You suck!" shouts the passerby.

"Help me, I can't feel my legs!" shouts the person who got hit by Jessie's computer.

"Anyway," says Ash, as he walks back to the group, "I have a plan. It's simple and we won't get caught."

I'm starting to feel that impending doom myself. What does Ash have up his sleeve? Let's just hope it's not too……..messy.


	2. 2

**New Chapter! Yay!**

"You are the One."

"What?"

"The Matrix is not real. It is an illusion, made by the machines."

"Pow! Shing! Kung Fu!"

In an average neighborhood, in an average basement, is where we find ourselves now. Whoever resides here must be a fan of science fiction; posters and action figures of The Matrix, Star Wars, and other geek stuff litter the area. Before us is a young man, playing with his Neo doll and…………….what? What the hell? Why the hell are we here?

"Ash, why the hell are we here?"

"Trust me on this."

Is this part of Ash's plan? To be in the house of some poor woman whose son still lives with her? How is that going to help them?

"Excuse me, but who are you?" asks geek boy, who has only now realized the cast of Pokemon is behind him.

"We'd like you're help Timmy" says Ash.

"Hey wait a second. I recognize you now. You're that Ash kid. You suck!" says Timmy.

"Yeah, we've all heard it a million times, in various ways. Will we have to beat you or will you just do as we say?" says Ash.

"Screw you" says Timmy.

KLUNK!

**2 minutes later………**

"Oh. My head."

"Ash, what's the point of this? Why do we need this guy's help?" asks Misty.

"It's simple. Thru the wonder that is the Internet, I found out a lot about Tim here. He always scored highest in computer related classes. He's quite smart in fact." Ash replied.

"And this is important because……?" asks Jessie.

"Because Tim here is going to create a computer virus. A virus that will stop all who try to bash us!" Ash replies, laughing maniacally.

"The hell I am. How can you even tell if I'm capable of such?" asks Timmy.

"'Cus I also found out that you shut down your school for a week by crashing the entire computer system. I figured you could do other things."

"Oh. Well, how do you know if I'm even going to do it?"

"I know because" starts Ash, as he grabs for Pikachu on his shoulder and shoving him in Timmy's face, "I have an electric rodent capable of frying your brain like it was a piece of KFC chicken!"

"Can I voice my opinion that this is the stupidest idea you've ever had!" says Cassidy.

"No, he's had stupider ideas" says Gary.

So……………..it seems like Timmy can choose between death by electric shock and creating a super virus. He weighs his options carefully because while he doesn't want to die, making a virus of such proportions will…………

"Okay, okay, I'll do it! I don't want to die!" screams Timmy.

"Did I hear that you wanted some pie, Timmy dear?" asks his mother from upstairs.

Wuss. If Team Rocket can take a few electric shocks, why can't you?

Anyway, back to the story. Timmy, being the coward that he is, decides dying isn't going to be much fun and sets out on creating this virus that Ash wants. Actually, it was quite fun for the Pokemon cast. Timmy's mom gave them cookies and they watched him like a hawk to ensure that he did as he was told. Seeing him sweat in fear provided many giggles.

**1 week later…………**

"Ahh, my fan fiction is complete! I can't wait to show people how a bunch of Pokemon characters dies in this installment!"

A young, budding hate fiction artist is at work, staring at his computer screen. Cheerfully, he has spent weeks, typing about beatings and killings for all, when suddenly, his screen goes blank.

"Huh? What the hell is going on?" he asks.

A message has popped up on his screen. What's it telling him?

_**Get used to staring at a blank screen, because you've lost all your files! **_

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My computer!" he screams.

**Elsewhere……….**

"My e-mail is almost ready to be sent. I just have to have to fit in a few more 'You suck's in it!" says another cheerful minor.

Oh no! His screen has gone blank too! And another message pops up!

_**Maybe if you studied instead of writing hate mails, you'd actually be passing in school!**_

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Around the world, more screams could be heard; more eyes looked upon various messages.

_**For your convenience, I've deleted all "unnecessary" items!**_

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

_**I hope these weren't important!**_

"MY FILES!"

_**Looks like you'll fail History 101!**_

"MY ESSAY!"

_**Let me help you find religion!**_

"WHY GOD? WHY?"

What can of worms has been opened? Will these people be able to replace what they've lost? Will Timmy be allowed to finally go to the bathroom after all his hard work? Only time will tell………..

**Just so you know, I have nothing against those who like The Matrix, Star Wars, etc. Those were just the first to pop into my head when I wrote this part. **


	3. 3

**Thank you all for your compliments on my story. I knew somebody would like it :). And to AriNekoGoMu, no, that is not Timmy from the Fairly Oddparents. Like my reference to the Matrix, it was pretty random. Again, thank you all. Let's continue, shall we?**

**Two Months Later…….**

_In other news, authorities have attributed the world wide depression and computer system failures to a single, massive virus. The effects of it are well documented yet extremely curious. It appears it was originally intended to target certain computers, for various reasons, but mutated to affect any computer. It spread out of control, ruining any computer system it infected. Here we have an interview with an expert. _

"_Well, it seems that the virus once targeted only a few individuals. The only thing that linked them was the fact that they wrote fanfiction that involved curses and gratuitous death to characters. Why is still beyond us."_

_Thank you. Back to you Jim. _

Uhhh……looks like the plan backfired, um…….a bit.

"Great idea Ash. Really great" said Misty. She and Ash were sitting on the couch, back in their apartment watching the unpleasant news unfold on the television.

"Alright. It sucked. Can we drop it?" he snarled.

"You're a moron" said Gary, as he passed by the couch.

"Will you please leave me in peace?" asked Ash.

"Moron. Halfwit. Nimrod. Idiot. Stupid. Ass" replied Gary.

"Okay! I know! My idea screwed over the entire world! It didn't work! I don't need constant reminders!"

Just then, May walked towards them, carrying a large sack on her back. She proceeded to dump its contents on Ash.

"Great. They've stopped e-mailing us. Now they just write old-fashioned letters telling us that we suck" she said.

"Why the hell did we listen to your idea in the first place?" asked Misty.

"Pikachu" said Pikachu (I guess he agrees).

"That's it" said Ash, as he got up from the pile of hate mail. He walked toward the window and opened it. He had one of his legs out of it when Jessie came by.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Putting myself out of my misery" he said.

At this Team Rocket jumped about, cheering in jubilation.

"Can I have your stuff when you're dead?" asked Meowth, as he twirled his noisemaker around in glee.

"No."

"Dang."

"At least he's doing something productive" said Tracey sarcastically.

At this, Max got up from his seat.

"Look guys. Our first plan didn't work. We just have to try again" he said, a beacon of rationality.

"Yeah, the kid's right. Besides, at least the authorities won't catch us" said James.

"Good thing we got Timmy to make this whole fiasco untraceable to us" said Butch.

"Too bad he didn't take the same precautions for himself" said Cassidy, as she pointed to the T.V. set.

_We have breaking news! The culprit of the "Fiction" virus has been caught and is being taken into custody. Let's look at the footage now. _

"_What do you have to say for yourself?" _

"_I was forced to make the virus! It was a whole bunch of cartoon characters that made me do it! They held me hostage!" _

"_Yeah right! Get into the squad car already!"_

"_Timmy dear, remember you have to be home by curfew! Have fun with your friends!"_

"Ohh. Uhh….glad it's not us?" said Brock.

"Anyway, back to what Max was saying. We should think of something else" said Gary.

"Yeah, but what?" asked Misty.

"I have an idea" said Meowth as he walked to the center of the group. "Do you remember the book '1984'? Where the government convinced rebels of the superiority of Big Brother before they killed them? We should take that approach."

"You mean……create a totalitarian empire that erases history and uses propaganda to control the masses?" asked May.

"No, not like that. Just, you know…get a few people whacked. Hire an assassin who'll brainwash 'em and kill 'em."

"So you want to kill and brainwash EVERY person who's EVER said ANYTHING nasty about us?" asked James. He was not convinced.

"Fine, not every person. Just one or two as an example." Meowth was grinning wickedly, for he liked his sadistic idea. The others weren't too sure.

"It's worth a shot" said Ash, as he whipped out a phone book. He looked up "Assassins R' Us".

Wait. There's actually a company like that? With it's number right in the phone book? Okay, let's move on.

"I have that impending doom feeling again" said Tracey.

Will this actually work? Will the cast ever get some peace and quiet? Will they find an assassin at a low price? How come it's only Tracey who senses impending doom? Find out soon…………


	4. 4

**Ah, the fourth chapter. Considering finals, the last few days of school being a little hectic, and dreaded writer's block (yes, I was afflicted with that oh so horrible state of mind), it did take me a little longer to get this chapter done. Hopefully, the next chapters won't be so hard to do (lot's of free time this summer  ). Again, thanks for compliments and keep reviewing please. **

**Also, see if you can figure out who the cast is talking too early in this chapter. Some (to me anyways) are a tad vague, while some are very obvious. All in the name for a few laughs (he he!). **

**The search for an affordable assassin begins at Assassins R' Us….**

_We're sorry. The company, Assassins R' us, has been shut done. Apparently, the government discovered our operation and had a problem with the services we rendered. Have a nice day!_

"Damn it to hell!" said Misty, as she slammed the phone down.

"Screw it. Let's try someone else" said Gary. "There's gotta be a bunch of screwballs out there who'll take the job."

**The rejection continues…**

"So you see, it's a really simple job and we're willing to pay, so long as the price is reasonable. What do you say?"

"Look, we're pirates, not assassins. Go away" said the guy in the straw hat.

"Kid, I'm a hero. I don't kill people, I save them. Go away" said the blue hedgehog.

"I do spaceship dogfights, not whacking people. Go away" said the fox.

"Yoshi yoshi. Yoshi (Go away)" said the green dinosaur.

"Just because I can do anything doesn't mean I'll actually do everything. Go away" said the girl with the guy with the naked mole rat.

"Dude. We solve mysteries with my dog. We're not going to take the job. Go away" said the guy next to the van.

"That is not the Shaolin way! Be gone!" said the little yellow kid (yellow? Sounds like jaundice to me).

**Yeah, this ain't going too well, is it?**

"What is with these people? It's as if they have morals or something" said Ash, as he wandered the city with his friends.

"Now what? We're not going anywhere with this" said Jessie.

"Meowth, your plan sucks. Why did you even open your mouth?" asked James.

"Shut up already! Look, we just ain't talking to the right people is all. We should…." He started to say.

"Excuse me. I hear you're looking for an assassin. Is that right?" asked the shadow. A man hid behind the nearby alleyway, no more than a few feet from the cast as they stood there on the street. Who is this mysterious person?

"Uh…my mother said I shouldn't talk to strangers" said Max. He was understandably apprehensive, because…..well the guy just showed up from behind an alleyway, what the hell would you think?

"You still listen to your mommy?" asked Butch with a sneer on his face.

"At least my mother loves me. Yours probably threw you into a dumpster!" retorted Max.

"She did not!" shouted Butch.

"Shut up! Can't you see I'm trying to strum up some business here!" said the man. "Anyhow….what are you willing to pay?"

"A hundred dollars. Nothing else" said Brock.

"What! Make it a hundred thousand, and we have a deal."

"A hundred and five dollars."

"Two hundred."

"A hundred and ten dollars."

"Aw, screw it. Fine. Follow me."

The mysterious man pointed back to the alleyway. The cast followed him as he walked thru, eventually coming upon a door. The man took out a key, opened the door, and led them into a dark room.

"Hey, can we turn on a light?" said Tracey.

"Why, of course" said the man, which he did.

"Uh, who are they?" asked May, who was pointing to all the police officers who had been hiding in the room.

"Aww, son of a …." started Ash.

"You are under arrest! Anything you say or do will be held against you in a court of law!" said the man, who was now holding a gun towards them.

**Later, in jail…..**

"Great. We've been arrested for trying to find an assassin. Just great" said Misty in her jail cell.

"Meowth?" said Jessie.

"Yeah?"

"I hate you."

"Shut up. Whiner."

"Look guys, I know how we can get out of this. We're going to go on trial, right?" said Ash.

"Yeah?" said Brock.

"Let's just do what all other actors do."

"You mean…..hire an overly paid lawyer to convince the jury we're innocent of the crimes we committed?" said Max.

"Exactly!" Ash said, with much confidence.

"Hooray for a litigious society!" shouted May.

"Yay!" shouted all.

So….now they'll need lawyers instead of assassins. Will they find someone to take their case? Will they seek revenge for what the undercover cop did? (Probably not. They already have enough to do as it is). Find out soon……


	5. 5

**The writer's block continues…it was sorta hard to get this chapter done. Then again, I've also been plagued by finals all of last week. Well, here it is chapter 5. **

_I'm outside the courthouse right now as we await the fate of the cast of Pokemon. The charge is that they tried to hire an assassin for some reason. Fans and anti-fans are outside with me and the two sides are fighting like cats and dogs. Lucky for us, we're catching it on tape!_

We find ourselves in the courtroom as the cast try to work out a strategy to get out of this situation. I wonder if they were able to find a lawyer.

"Guys, meet Mr. Jones, a.k.a Mr. Charming" said Ash as he pointed to the man next to him in the blue suit.

"Mr. Charming?" asked Jessie.

"It's a nickname I've acquired. I've used my charm, good looks, and legal jargon to get stars like you out of worse situations. With me around, you'd have to beat a person to death in front of the jury to get them to convict you of anything" said Jones. "Maybe even get blood on one of them."

"Sounds good enough to me" said Brock.

"Order in the court! People, please take your seats now so we can begin" said the Judge. "What is the case today bailiff?"

"This is Pokemon vs. the hateful ramblings of minors. They are accused of trying to hire an assassin and will be tried by a jury of their peers" said the bailiff.

"Um, can I ask a question? Most of the people over there are people who are regularly on the Pokemon show. Couldn't they all just say we aren't guilty to save their own jobs?" asked James.

"I don't see any problem with that" said the Judge.

"Defense may go up and give their first statement" said the bailiff.

"Thank you" said Jones, as he started to walk around the room. "My clients have been accused of trying to hire an assassin. But look at them. They're kids. Cute, innocent children. Excuse me sir, yes, you over there" said Jones, as he pointed to one of the jury members. He walked over to him.

"Yes sir?" asked the juror.

"Do you like donuts?" asked Jones.

"Uh…yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"How dare you."

"What?"

"How dare you claim to like donuts and yet blame these innocent children?"

"What? I don't understand!"

"No. No you wouldn't, would you" said Jones, as the juror proceeded to pound his own head into the stand, baffled by what just occurred. "Excuse me, Miss?" said Jones, going towards a female juror. "Do you like racist people?"

"Of course not!"

"Do you think maybe these kids are guilty of the crimes they've supposedly did?"

"Well….maybe. I don't know just yet."

"How could you? How could you compare the two?"

"What? You're comparing the two!"

"No, you did. You did ma'am" said Jones, leaving another juror dumbfounded.

"Oh, he's good" said Butch.

"The defense rests its case" said Jones.

**Hours later….**

"State your name please" said the Bailiff.

"Ash Ketchum."

"Now, supposing you did try to hire an assassin, why would you?" asked Jones.

"To get people off our backs. Because they're annoying."

"Don't you see?" said Jones, as he addressed the jurors. "They are not horrible kids out to hurt everyone. They simply reached their limit. Now how could you think they were guilty if you like kittens?"

"Objection your honor! This is ridiculous! For the past few hours, Jones has spouted out the most incomprehensible crap I've ever heard! He keeps going on about donuts and kittens and vacationing in Europe! Isn't it obvious that all of those have nothing to do with the case?" asked the Prosecutor.

"It wasn't obvious to me" said the Judge.

"Then you must be an absolute moron you…Hey! Let go of me!" said the Prosecutor, as police men carted him off.

"I dub the prosecutor insane! For lack of all reason, I declare those on the defense the winners!" said the Judge.

"Yes!" said Jones, pumping his fists into the air.

"But this doesn't solve our problem at all! There are still people sending us crap!" said Max.

"True. But I just figured out what to do about that. It came to me in a dream. The dream I was having just a few minutes ago" said Ash.

"You fell asleep during our trial?" said Misty.

"Oh god. What's your idea this time?" asked Jessie.

"Let's get political and get one of us voted into some office! Then we can make the stuff we don't like illegal!"

"But you need experience. And a brain" said Gary.

"George W. Bush got elected as president. If he can do it, why can't we?"

"Good point" said James. "Let's get a campaign started!"

"And I'll provide the cash you need! More fame for me!" said Jones.

"Yay!" said all.

**This story is going all over the place isn't it  ? Don't really know how many more chapters will come (yes, if you've been wondering, it is coming of the top of my head. A lot of it, anyway.). **


	6. 6

**I am so sorry. There's absolutely no excuse. The reason this came late is because….I'm lazy. The fact that it's summer didn't help me, but again, I was lazy. Anyway, this is the final chapter and I hope you guys enjoyed this little story of mine. Again, read and review. I hope you like it. **

**On the campaign trail…or are we?**

"Slight problem guys" said James. "I just found that there are a few requirements before one can become President."

"Requirements?" asked Ash.

"You have to over 35 years of age, a resident of the country for 14 years, and be born here too."

"What? None of us qualify then!"

"So? Rules and regulations haven't stopped me yet" said Jones.

"I doubt even think you can get us around this" said Misty.

The gang was back in their apartment and greatly discouraged. Maybe they should drop the whole political campaign thing. Accept the fact that some people will dislike them or aspects of the cartoon. March gracefully forward to a new day…

"We could go on Oprah! Or Ricki Lake! Or Jerry Springer! If we could talk to the hosts and…" started Meowth.

"No! No! No! No, no, no, no, no, no!" said Jessie. "Your last idea got us in major trouble and did nothing to help us!"

"Beside, how would going on a talk show help us?" asked Max.

"I don't know. People go on them all the time and their problems get solved."

"That's if their problem is figuring out the father of their five babies born out of wedlock! And since none of us have that problem, it won't help us!" said May.

"Maybe one of yous guys is keeping a little secret from us." Meowth grinned evilly.

Upon hearing this, May stomped on his tail. Meowth howled in pain and ran around like an idiot, cursing at her all the while.

"$#!&+" said Meowth.

And so back to the drawing board. What to do, what to do. They thought about it. And thought about it. And thought about it some more.

"Hey! I have an idea!" said Cassidy.

"What is it?" asked Butch.

"C'mon everyone, hop into the van. We have to visit someone."

"You are the One."

"What?"

"The Matrix is not real. It is an illusion, made by the machines."

"Pow! Shing! Kung Fu!"

What the? Are we back here again? Didn't they try this already?

"Didn't we try this already?" asked Brock.

"I have a slightly different idea this time" said Cassidy.

Realizing that once again the cast is behind him, Timmy looks at them with a face of misery and fear.

"You guys again? I'll get to work on the virus" he said, turning back to his computer.

"Oh no. That's not what we came for." Cassidy leans down and whispers in his ear a few words of instruction. "Can you do that?" she asked.

"Sure I can. You're not going to hit me again are you?" he asked.

"No. But we will be waiting upstairs."

"Cassidy, what are we here for?" asked Tracey.

"You'll see" she replied.

"I'm done" said Timmy, coming up from the basement. He handed Cassidy a disk. "Just install it on all of your computers and it should fix your problem."

"Great work. Now go back downstairs, you little basement troll" she said back to him.

"So…..what's that?" asked Jones as the gang stepped out of the house.

"You'll see" was her reply.

**Two weeks later….**

Both Ash and Meowth sat on the couch. They were fuming. Actually, they've been pissed off ever since they had gone back to Timmy's house. But why?

"So," said Cassidy as she leaned towards them "How's it feel to have your big plans fail?"

"Shut up" said Ash.

"I have to admit, I'm used to schemes failing. It's the fact that my favorite show got cancelled. Now I don't got nothing to watch" said Meowth.

"Figures. What about you?" asked Cassidy.

"$#!&+" said Ash.

Gary then came over, carrying a book. He tossed it at Ash's head.

"Catch!" he said.

"Ow!" Ash said, as the book bounced off of him. "Alright. I know, our plans had us all jackassing around town and we accomplished nothing. But you could you guys stop throwing stuff at me?"

"No," said Tracey, as he hurled another book at his friend.

"Too bad you couldn't muster the brain cells to think of getting software that blocked spam and unwanted e-mails" said Cassidy.

"So why didn't you say anything? You could've saved us a whole lot of trouble" asked Jessie.

"Mostly because I wanted to see people suffer and languish in their stupidity" Cassidy replied.

"Yeah, it's fun watching people suffer" said James. "Hey! Are you saying we're all idiots or something?"

"$#!&+" said Ash again.

Ah, so the journey has come full circle. Now, with the proper software, our heroes can live in peace. No longer will they be plagued with the hate and the whining. How utterly simple the solution was, instead of the dumbass idea of a virus and an assassin and….

"SHUT UP AND GO AWAY ALREADY!" shouted Ash to the narrator.

Hey wait a….You shut up! It's not my fault you suck!

"LEAVE US ALONE! WE DON'T NEED A NARRATOR ANYMORE!" he yelled back.

You still suck.

"YOU SUCK!" he yelled again.

I am rubber, you are glue….

"STOP IT!"

Make me.

"Moron," Ash muttered under his breath.

I know you are, but what am I?

"WE'RE NOT PAYING YOU TO INSULT ME!" shouted Ash.

"We're not?" asked James. "Oops."

Am I still getting that check you guys owe me?

"It's in the mail" said Misty.

Good. Ah hem…and thus concludes this epic tale of…of…stuff. The End.

"Finally" said Ash.

Nancy boy.

"Hey!"

**The End. Really.**


End file.
